Sunday, June 20, 2004
it is confirmed. i am depressed...
i don't know. the sudden urge of recollecting my sec sch life. it seems to be more meaningful and interesting when compared to my dull routinal lifestyle that i experience now. i was just talking to andrew about friends. such a waste that i cannot develop further the friendship that has been built over the years that i spent in st hildas primary and secondary. i just feel lonely now. i mean. who are my friends. and who are my "friends"? those who knows me well, will well enough know that i place lots of importance on friends. sadly, in the cheerfulness of our youth, we fail to maintain and establish friendships based on mutual understanding. acquaintances are abundance. everywhere. oh well
im probably depressed over common test.
perhaps every jc student has to go through this. i have never gone through such a miserable moment in my life before. perhaps more terrible experiences await me.
studies. i am inundated by the thick stack of notes that i have to read, cover and digest before finally applying them for the common test. everybodys in misery now due to the upcoming common test. i don't know. theres this invinsible pressure that everyone is facing right now. well. almost everyone. when common test is actually no big deal.
i face the greatest pressure. having seen the performance in geography detoriating, when it supposedly is my forte. the stress is overwhelming. i have forgiven myself for doing badly in class tests but im just worried that i might slide from an A to a near fail grade or something. My hunger for geography is no longer what it used to be. i have sort of lost interest in it. i feel discouraged with the absence of motivating teachers like ms sarah yew and ms karen teo. mr sahlan expects alot from me. but my sentiments are that he has been dissapointed with my peformance so far..
Sevverl is back in spore i think. he is doing the UK equivalent of the O levels so as to gain admission into uni or smtg like that. such lucky people are so fortunate to escape the misery that we, as singaporean jc students have to face. but they have their fair share of downsides too.
really... i have never felt this way before. like whats freaking wrong with my life. i never felt so awkward before. much worse than band problems. at least for band probs, u have ppl to share it with. but right now, i dont even know what kinda problem im facing to begin with.
did a quiz on quizilla. bipolar depression. which means i have frequent moodswings. yup. a check with other jc peers showed that they too are suffering from bipolar.
sometimes happy.. high... sometimes down... sad..
if there are 3 things i miss right now..
they are
1) my friends and teachers and everything else in sec sch. i wish i was still a lil kid. everything seems to be moving too quickly for me. friends in sec sch are always the best. i hope they have not forgotten me, or rather don't think that i have forgotten them.
2) ms karen teo. i really miss her. tutorials seem to be soo different without her. her sweet smile which is reserved for tutorials ONLY. her wonderful voice and perfect english which is such a blessing. her bright face which never fails to cheer anybody up. and most importantly, the wonderful facts that come out from an organ called the mouth
3) my bro. when r u coming back eh?
i intend to stay up to read my stuff
hallo
economics
module 1
module 2
module 3
module 4
module 5
module 6
module 7
module 8
math
log exp func
partial frac
binomial
inequalities
ap gp
summation
MI
tri
functions of trigo
curve sketchin
functions
diff
appl of diff
mac laurins
integ
appl of integ
trapezium rule
3D trigo
p and c
differential eqn
numerial method
vectors
complex numbers
geography
physical
atmos
hydro
ecosystems
human
popn
econ change
super depressing..............
|| nobone ran out @ 6/20/2004 01:11:00 am ||